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Yo ThemeSnap, WTF?

ThemeSnap SupportUPDATE: Jason, ThemeSnap's customer services manager, replied via email in exactly 2 hours and 12 minutes after I initially alerted them of my blog post. Judging from his professional & thoughtful reply, this means he probably got the email within minutes and got started on his reponse immediately. For the record, my blog post's main goal was to let ThemeSnap know just how angry I was, and to make sure they feel exactly what I felt. Eye for an eye, ear for an ear, right?

I'd like to let everyone know that ThemeSnap's PinBoard theme is actually an incredible product (I give it a 9 out of 10), and that if everyone there is as half as good as Jason in regards to customer support, they should do pretty well. Thanks Jason, you definitely earned my respect. And I do apologize for the harsh tone of my blog post.

As an entrepreneur, I take customer service very seriously. All good companies know just how important it is to treat your customers like king. Anyone who wishes to excel in customer service should read a book called Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose by none other than Zappos CEO, Tony Hsieh (his last name is pronounced "Shay" by the way).

Last year, I had a very bad experience at the local Subway right next to where I live. Instead of taking care of a minor issue that I brought up, the manager there angered me up to a point where I registered the domain name Fuck You Subway, and I was ready to go all the way up the corporate ladder to get the attention of the CEO if I had to. Long story short, I got in touch with the owner of the specific location and threatened him on just how far I was willing to go to destroy their reputation (by posting their full names online detailing just how pathetic their customer service skills were to make sure they have a really hard time getting their next pathetic jobs) and was eventually treated like king, just like how each and every customer should be treated. Problem solved, and I wish nothing but the best for the owner, who handled the situation with utmost professionalism and has truly earned my respect. I also forgave Subway (I will not be renewing the domain name). But I have never went back to that location ever since, and I never will. The bridge has already been burned with his minions.

Fuck You Subway

My fuckyousubway.com account at 1&1

On 10/11/12, I registered Collectiboard.com (as well as Collectaboard.com, Collectiboard.co, Collectiboard.net & Collectiboard.org for a total of just $21.79) to launch a Pinterest for collectibles. After having built a full blown music publishing platform called Discography.by from scratch using Drupal with well over 100 modules, I knew that I could build Collectiboard literally in a day and start offering access to early adopters before offcially launching the website on 12/12/12. So I bought a custom theme that is surprisingly robust straight out of the box from a company called ThemeSnap, and somehow got my account suspended within 24 hours, for trying to help them out. Can you believe this shit?

Here's the full list of what I originally reported to help ThemeSnap:

1) "Warning: file_put_contents(/tmp/oi_plugins.php) [function.file-put-contents]: failed to open stream: Permission denied in openinviter->getPlugins() (line 342 of /home/collecti/public_html/temp/sites/all/libraries/OpenInviter/openinviter.php)" -> I reported that this warning message appears in a brand new install of PinBoard (V2.0.5). Just install the damn thing, click "Configuration" on the admin menu, and bam! A stupid warning message right after installation. The screenshot below was taken after another brand new install of PinBoard, this time with V2.0.6 (and needless to say, using the installation profile):

Drupal OpenInviter Warning Message

Warning message immediately after fresh install of PinBoard

2) Two ""Pin It" Button" Fields -> I reported that there are two same fields, and that one of them doesn't work.

Pin It Button 1

"Pin It" Button 1

Pin It Button 2

"Pin It" Button 2

3) PinBoard V2.0.5 "+ Add" & "Add+" -> I reported that they are inconsistent, asked where I can change the title "Add+", and that a $229 software deserves nothing but perfection.

PinBoard Add Plus Problem

"Add+" title & "+ Add" button's inconsistency

And here is the reply back from ThemeSnap:

1) "Jay, please don't use forums for personal bug reports. You got isolated issue on you web site that doesn't related to theme source code and it is can't be discussed on forums in accordance with our terms. Please, create support ticket to get help on http://support.themesnap.com . I'm sorry your post is deleted."

2) "Jay, please stop to send personal bug reports to forums, othewise I'll have to block your account on forums. Please create support ticket to get help. I'm sorry, your post is deleted."

3) "Jay, your note about cost is insultive. I'm sorry, I suspended your user account due to our forums terms."

Finally, here is my reply back to ThemeSnap's extremely rude, unprofessional reply riddled with spelling & grammatical errors:

1) This is NOT a personal bug report. A personal bug happens when a dumb fucking idiotic moron who doesn't know anything about Drupal does some retarded shit and gets an error that nobody else should get. The error I reported happens on EVERY FUCKING BRAND NEW PINBOARD INSTALL. I dare you to do it, and if it doesn't give the warning message, I will genuflect before all of you guys and suck on your toes for the rest of my life.

2) Again, this is NOT a personal bug report. If it is, I will also wipe your asses for the rest of my life.

3) I would think that anyone with an average IQ of 100 and up should be able to read between the facetious lines and know that I'm actually praising the software, NOT complaining. Sorry if I'm too smart (my IQ is 155), but it's not my fucking fault that I didn't dumb it down enough for you guys. Also, anyone who does enough research before plunking down $229 on a piece of software (which most likely is the most expensive Drupal theme ever made) that can be easily found for $39 elsewhere, or better yet, completely free for both versions of Drupal & WordPress (and probably for most other dozens of alternatives out there as well), should of course expect nothing but perfection. There's nothing wrong with that (and I'm still being facetious). But I don't even need to mention to you guys that the $39 software actually looks 10 times better than yours (I'm serious on this one). Come on guys, give me a fucking break. The only reason I paid $229 (needless to say, the actual amount that I paid was of course (only?) $171.75 after taking advantage of your 25% offer, and yes I could've also waited until you guys offer 35% off or even 40% off, based on your Twitter feed from last year's holiday period, which is of course coming up soon as we all know) was because I wanted to support a small business, establish a good relationship with you guys and help make PinBoard even better. We're really not off to a good start here though, now are we?

Just so you know, I will never, ever, EVER resubmit something that you guys carelessly deleted out of your own stupidity (you guys can and should post your replies right here). Sorry but I just don't have the time to deal with morons, as we have more than enough of those all around us. Why do you think we hear of the phrase, "Stupid Americans", all the time? You guys developed what I think is hands down THE best Pinterest clone software (I AM aware of the "Pin Board Helper" module's capabilities, which was what justified the $229 price tag for me after tearing apart the pirated version that I downloaded and tested), so please, act like you guys actually know what you're doing.

So if you guys are willing to start over, I'm all for it. The only condition is that you had better start treating your customers like king. And make no mistake, I will create the best Pinterest clone ever based on your theme, with or without your help. If Collectiboard gains enough traction, I will customize the living fuck out of PinBoard so that nobody will ever think that I even used Drupal nor an existing theme to help me get started. But I'd like to do it with your help, so please help me not burn another bridge that I really don't want to burn.

And last but not least, thanks for taking the time to read my blog post, because like what Bill Clinton's press secretary, Mike McCurry, once said, "there's a little bit of floccinaucinihilipilification going on here".

P.S. I would not be surprised if someone you guys treated badly in the past released version 1.1.2 illegally as revenge. Let's just say I got as close as how Michael Phelps beat Milorad Cavic by a fingernail in the 2008 Beijing Olympics to releasing 2.0.6 everywhere myself. It's ok to fuck up, but please learn from your mistakes. I expect nothing but perfection from you guys this point onward. As the great Robert Di Nero once said in the movie, The Fan, "I'm serious as a heart attack".

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